My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
In other news, I just burned my penis
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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