Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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