thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
i think i just lost a toe
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
