I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
