His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
