I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
