can u get pink eye on your cock?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
