this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
