I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
