I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
