Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize