I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
