I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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