at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
