We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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