Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
