The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize