Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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