I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
