shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
