Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
