This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
