Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Enjoy the penises
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
