I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
