What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
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