i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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