need another drink. this is the easiest way
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
