just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
