so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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