how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
