Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
