It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
