He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize