Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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