But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I would ride that face into the sunset
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
