I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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