i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
