Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
