just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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