If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
