We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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