THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
