you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize