If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
