She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
