Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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