how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Randomize
