So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm both gender and math confused
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
