Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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