To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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