wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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