i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
