so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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