Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
