To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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