then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
