I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
