just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
