the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize