I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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