I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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