she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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