My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
now i know why i became what i already was.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
