You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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