there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
