South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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